Why Goku will never have any more home visits
by Cobaltwaryear
Summary: AU- The tale of Goku's middle school home visit. T for language.


Why Goku will never have any more home visits

Summary: The tale of Goku's first and only middle school home visits.

Warnings: AU, language? My attempt at humor.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki!

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Tanaka Izumi was what you would consider as a normal man. He was a middle aged man who taught at a private middle school called Nishiyama Gakuen. He was married to his old college sweetheart and was a family man. He had two children, a son who was obsessed with baseball and a daughter who wants a new pair of rain boots, rain coat, complete with a new umbrella(though he doesn't get why she would need an umbrella if she already has a rain coat and vice versa).

Anyways, the point is that he was a completely normal man. Yet for some strange reason, for the current school year he was assigned to be the adviser of class 2-E. The class of 2-E was also what you would call a normal class. It was composed of stereotypical teenagers who were either enjoying their school life or were experiencing teenage angst. There was nothing out of place there, except one little-microscopic-teeney-weeney detail.

Actually, it wasn't a detail really, but it was more of one of his students. You see, of all the teachers he just had to be the adviser of the class that had Son Goku. Now, it wasn't that he disliked the boy. No, the boy was one of the nicest and most amiable young men he had ever met. He might get a bit mischievous and pull some pranks, but nothing that went too far. He knew where to draw the line with harmless fun and something that would scar a person, physically, mentally, and/or emotionally.

But the last name of 'Son' was insanely infamous in Nishiyama Gakuen, no, not just within the school, but throughout this city. Goku's older brother, Son Homura had pulled off a lot of crazy stunts with his two friends during his time as a student of Nishiyama. He skipped class, got into fights with the upperclassmen and his teachers, and the worst had been the time that a high school gang had come all the way to Nishiyama to fight Homura. The fight was between Homura, who had been just a second year at the time, against around thirty five armed high school students.

He had sent his friends to take care of the back-up that he knew was coming. But before the teachers could even call the police, the fight was over. But the ending was not what anyone had expected. Even with the impossible odds, Homura won, barely breaking a sweat as he defeated all his enemies. His friends returned unharmed but the outside of the gate was littered with bodies of unconscious high school students. After this incident, Homura and his friends got suspended from school for a week.

But it was sometime during this time that the other students started calling Homura the War Prince. Years have passed, since that particular incident and Homura had already graduated a long time ago. The last that he heard of him, was that he was currently studying in Tokyo University. But even until now, the name Son Homura strikes fear into the hearts of many. Anyways, the bottom line is that Homura is scary as hell and should never be crossed. But the infamy streak of the Son family didn't end there. No, there was still Goku's other brother, Son Nataku.

He was actually Goku's older(by just one minute from what he's heard) twin brother. He was what you would consider a prodigy. He had unbelievably high grades, was athletic and was very talented in almost anything he did. He was a prankster like his brother, but he was also a good kid. He was respected by the other students and the teachers. He was the student council president, despite only being a second year. But he was also given the title of War Prince, the second War Prince to be exact, which meant that he was just like his older brother.

He was known for getting into fights with the school's delinquents to instill discipline and to keep the peace, because he was also the head prefect. He had actually earned his title because no matter how bigger or larger his opponents were compared to him, or the number of delinquents he had to face at one time, he never lost. Izumi, personally liked Nataku, he was a polite young man. But he had a good healthy amount of fear for the kid who is more or less single-handedly keeping order in the school.

Then there was Goku, who had quite a reputation, though his reputation was in a more positive note by just a bit. He was a member of almost all athletic clubs and the school's ace in sports. The teen had average grades in all subjects except physical education and arts(the boy just had an interest to colors and a knack for what the art teacher would call the abstract and ambiguous). While his twin brother might have been charismatic, Goku was charming and the best part, in Izumi's opinion was that he was a far cry from his eldest brother. He was well liked by his classmates and was someone hard to hate.

The boy unfortunately still got into fights, but most of them to protect his classmates who were being bullied by the delinquent upperclassman, or the bullies and brutes from the same year level.(Did he mention how the school had just recently became co-ed and most of the student population were hot blooded/hot headed guys?) But as expected of someone who bears the last name of Son, the teen was strong, inhumanely so. There was not even one opponent that came even relatively close to giving him a serious injury.

A few scrapes and a small bruise were the worst injuries Goku ever got from a fight and those were from thirty teens armed with metal pipes and brass 's groan was the only indication of his inner conflict and suffering as growing feelings of nervousness, anxiety and dread settled themselves in Izumi's stomach. He was currently on a bus, on his way to Son Goku's house for a mandatory home visit. But as he got closer and closer to his destination, he felt like he was getting farther away from normality and closer to unknown and uncharted territory. That was neither an exaggeration nor was it a lie.

To the middle aged teacher, the household of Son, which had managed to produce two war princes and one unlimited ball of energy so splendidly would probably be beyond his mere mortal comprehension. But that wasn't his only fear. What should, no, what could he do if ever he ran into Homura? Just the thought made him shiver and want to cower in fear. He would probably be okay with meeting the rest of Goku's family. Goku's parents would hopefully be responsible adults, so he wouldn't mind meeting them.

The whole point of having a home visit was for a teacher to meet with his/her student's parents or guardian and to see if their homes are conducive to learning. But there was one little problem with the whole home visit and in his mind he thought about the possibility of Goku's parents both being too busy for the home visit. That would probably be the worst scenario for him because that means that he would have to talk to Goku's guardian, which Izumi assumes is his eldest brother, Homura.

Izumi prayed that wouldn't be the case. Izumi was so caught up with his worries that he almost didn't notice the bus stop as it reached his destination. With a heavy heart and a deep sigh of resignation he got up from his seat, walked down the aisle and stepped out of the bus. He looked back at the retreating figure of the bus longingly before he took a couple of breaths and steeled himself for what was to come. He pulled out a piece of paper with Goku's home address messily scribbled out from his suit.

Right below Goku's address was a small and well drawn map that shows the way to his house from the bus stop, where he currently was. He first decided to follow the map and in less than fifteen minutes he found himself staring at two huge double doors that were just like what he saw on those documentaries on the old palaces of the East. Izumi couldn't help it, he gaped. He looked again at the address on the paper then back to the colossal red double doors.

Surely, there was a mistake, right? Izumi tried to calm himself as he thought about it logically; he had probably just taken a wrong turn somewhere. There was no need for him to panic and hyperventilate. Just as he had finally calmed his irregular breathing and was about to turn around to retrace his footsteps, the heavy red doors creaked open and standing on the other side was his student, Son Goku. "Tanaka-sensei! There you are! I had thought you got lost and I was on my way to look for you!"

Izumi could only stare wide eyed and slack jawed at his student as he began to pull him through the now open gates and into his house. Actually, house was not the word to describe what he was seeing right in front of him. That word did not even come close. It was a palace, a Chinese palace that was complete with stone steps, bridges, ornate designs and décor, pathways, statues of dragons on the orange tiled roofs, garden, red buildings, red columns, and was that a pond?

Izumi wanted to faint, but before he had the chance Goku began to pull him again. "Come on sensei, let's go inside." The poor middle aged teacher had let himself be dragged through the bridge and the pathway in a daze as he wondered if this could all just be a dream. While they walked to the palace, Goku was happily chatting away, not noticing that his teacher had already gone and invented a new shade of pale.

When they entered the castle, Izumi saw the inside was just as ornate and as grand as the outside. The interior of the castle was colored in red, brown and gold tones (Izumi doesn't know why, but he just knows that the gold is real). "Oh, Goku you're back already?" A voice asked and when Izumi turned to face the voice he saw a man with brunette hair, brown eyes and a warm smile on his face. The man was a few feet away from them and was walking towards them.

"Hakkai-nii!" Goku called as the man who was now known as Hakkai stopped in front of them both before turning to look at Izumi. "You must be Tanaka-sensei, we're very grateful for you taking care of our Goku." He said as he gave a small bow to him. "Oh no, please there's no need to mention it. But if you don't mind me asking, but who are you?" Izumi asked. "Oh dear, where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Cho Hakkai. I am Goku's older brother."

"I see, it's nice to meet you. I am Tanaka Izumi, Goku's homeroom adviser." Izumi said as he bowed back. Izumi never knew that Goku had any other brother aside from Homura and Nataku, but he was glad that Hakkai seemed to be such a kind, polite and responsible adult. "Unfortunately, our parents are unable to be here for the home visit." Hakkai began and Izumi felt his heart stop for a few seconds. He hoped that if it came down to it, Hakkai would be the one he would talk to, not Homura.

"So, you will be meeting with our eldest brother instead." Hakkai finished and Izumi suddenly turned lightheaded and wanted to run away right then and there. But you couldn't blame him, he was going to be talking to Nishiyama Gakuen's most dangerous delinquent, or so he assumes. "Eh? Sensei's gonna talk with Sanzo-nii? I thought he was too busy?" Goku pipped up, which brought Izumi out of his reverie. "Sanzo?" Izumi thought and it took a couple of seconds before he realized that Homura must not be the eldest son.

"Sanzo said that he might as well do it as the oldest son if father will not be attending this home visit." Hakkai replied. "Ah, and here I was thinking either you or Homura-nii were going to be the one to meet with Tanaka-sensei." Izumi almost spluttered. He had very narrowly avoided death. "Now that Tanaka-sensei is here, we should get going. Sanzo doesn't like to be kept waiting." Hakkai said as he turned and led them through a doorway and through a wide and long hallway.

Izumi wondered what Sanzo was like; surely he wouldn't be as bad as Homura. Izumi crossed both of his fingers. On the way, they passed an open doorway with loud sounds coming from the inside. Izumi peered inside and was surprised at what he saw. There, sitting on cushions, in front of large TV screen were two teens, one he recognized as Nataku playing a video game with a girl that looked to be around his age, or younger. "Ahh! Nataku, Lirin! I told you not to start playing without me!" Goku half-shouted and half screeched.

His student then proceeded to run into the room and dive tackled his brother and the girl into something that looked like a hug in Izumi's perspective. "You were taking way too long, Goku!" Nataku said as he tried to get his brother off. "Goku, you're heavy! Get off of me!" The girl complained, but Goku wasn't budging. They remained like that, Nataku and the girl trying to get Goku off of them and Goku trying to stay where he was until the sound of a cough got all of their attention.

The three teens all turned their head to where the sound came from and saw Hakkai looking at them with a peaceful look on his face. "Now, now, no fighting you three, don't you see we have a guest?" That was when three pair of eyes landed on Izumi. Goku then began to get up and scratched the back of his head. "Whoops, I forgot." He said before Hakkai continued. "Goku, Nataku, Lirin come here and greet Tanaka-sensei"

The three teens then stood up and made their way to where Izumi was. When they arrived, Nataku greeted him first. "Tanaka-sensei." He said as he gave a small bow. "Son-san." Izumi acknowledged before Hakkai spoke again. "Lirin, why don't you introduce yourself?" The girl then turned to look at Izumi. "Hello! My name is Gyokumen Lirin! I'm this family's youngest sibling." She said. "It's nice to meet you, Gyokumen-san." He replied.

"Alright, now that we've acquainted each other let's be on our way." Hakkai said as he began walking down the hall again. Izumi and Goku falling in step with him. Bet before rounding a corner he heard Goku shout at his siblings. "Nataku, Lirin, you better not start playing without me again!" They then walked down another long hallway and when they turned another corner, they got into another hallway which had open doors on one side with afternoon light streaking through them.

As they passed through, the group stopped to look at the magnificent view of the setting sun. But the sunset was not the only thing Izumi noticed. He also saw a vast and beautiful garden and in the center of it was something that looked like a Chinese gazebo. He noticed two people there. The first was a man that just screams delinquent! He had long red hair, silver accessories and a black leather jacket. The other was a beautiful yet sweet looking woman with long violet hair wearing a white dress.

The woman was the very picture of innocence and looked like the complete opposite of the man next to her. "Oh it's Kou-nii and Yaone! Oi! Kou-nii! Yaone!" Goku began to shout as he began to wave his arm. The two people at the gazebo looked up and turned to look at the source of the voice. The woman gave a wave back to Goku and a small bow to Hakkai, Izumi assumes, while the man does nothing. But when it becomes apparent that Goku didn't plan to stop until he acknowledges him, he gave a very small nod.

That seemed to satisfy Goku as he stopped waving and began moving again. "That was one of our brothers, Kougaiji and his best friend, Yaone-san." Hakkai told him as they continued to walk. They finally reached a doorway and passed through it. On the other side was a set of stairs they began to climb. They then arrived at an intersection, Hakkai turned right and the other two followed him in silence. They walked through a corridor but when they reached the end, a surprise met the group.

A surprise in the form of a person being sent flying back to a wall, right in front of them, this had caused Izumi to do what any normal person would do, he panicked. He turned to look at the other person who had most probably been the one who sent the other flying into the wall. The man was tall, had a muscular build and jet black hair, but the most noticeable thing about him was that he was holding a sword. It was real sword, it was not a toy or even one of those wooden swords. It was a real metal sword.

Izumi's fear and panic increased twelvefold. He turned to Hakkai and Goku, but they weren't even reacting or even showing any sign of panic. It was like this happened everyday, Hakkai had a calm face and Goku was snickering. "You're getting your butt kicked by Dokugakuji again, Gojyo?" The man who was currently sitting down on the floor with his back to the wall glared at Goku. "Shut up stupid monkey, he just got me by surprise, that's all!"

While the two males were talking, or in Izumi's perspective, bickering, Hakkai addressed the other male. "Dokugakuji-san, will you be staying for dinner today?" The man, who was known as Dokugakuji grinned as he answered. "Yeah, thanks." Hakkai merely gave the man a smile and a nod in answer. "Gojyo, do you still want to continue sparring or did my last attack do you in?" Dokugakuji taunted. But Izumi thought that the man must be insane, the other male must have at least broken a rib from his collision to the wall.

There was absolutely no way that they could continue their spar, and he was pretty sure a metal sword was considered cheating. "Of course I'm not done yet. Idiot." Gojyo said as he stood with little to no difficulty and gripped on a metal rod? No, it was a shakujo, a real shakujo. Gojyo then went into a battle position, before charging the other male. Their weapons clashed and the metal sang. They were in a stalemate when Hakkai urged them to continue walking past the two lest they want to get involved.

Izumi wisely began walking forward and they soon arrived at what was probably the longest hallway he's seen in his life. Hakkai then told him that the room at the end of this hallway was where Sanzo's room/office was. As they walked down the hallway, Izumi couldn't help but asking. "The two men who were fighting back there, just who were they?" Hakkai smiled as he answered the teacher's question. "The man with red hair was another of our brothers, Sha Gojyo. The man with black hair was his brother, Dokugakuji."

Izumi only nodded, but on the inside, he was reeling. He had already long noticed that aside from Homura and Nataku, none of Goku's other siblings, or at least, the ones that he's met so far has Son for a last name. He wonders for a moment just why is it that they have different last names before he inwardly shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts; the relationship of Goku's family would probably be too complex for mere words to explain.

But that wasn't the only thing he noticed. He also noticed how Hakkai had said that Dokugakuji was Gojyo's brother and didn't call him another one of their brothers. Perhaps, Gojyo and Dokugakuji were sworn siblings? Like in Yakuza movies, where the sworn brothers would exchange sakazuki? That would certainly explain some things like why they have real weapons on hand and why they sparring. Izumi could imagine it, their boss giving them weapons, and them using those very same weapons in a territory war.

But on the topic of the sparring, he just had to ask about it. "Hakkai-san, I was wondering, but Gojyo-san and Dokugakuji-san were sparring with real weapons, weren't they?" He asked, hoping that Hakkai would just laugh and tell him that those were weapons weren't really real and/or lethal and were just really convincing replicas. Sadly, that wasn't the answer he got. "Yes, they were." Hakkai answered so casually as if they were just chatting about the weather.

"You don't need to worry about them sensei. They spar almost everyday, so they're used to getting thrown to walls and getting hit with a sword or a spear. I'm pretty sure they don't even feel their minor wounds anymore." Goku said happily. But this didn't seem to make Izumi feel better at all. In fact, he was already downright horrified at the thought of the two just shrugging off 'minor injuries'. But fate seems to want to mess with him even more today, because when they finally reached halfway through, a door opened.

There Izumi met with the true nightmare that was known as Son Homura. He went out of the room he had been in and in less than a second seemed to have noticed them. He turned his head to them and regarded them lazily. Nobody said anything and Izumi held his breath. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity(at least to Izumi), Homura gave a soft "Huh." Before he began to saunter over to them, Izumi didn't plan on moving, blinking or even breathing until he passed him completely.

But it seemed that Homura's attention wasn't on him, much to his relief. It was instead on the youngest of the three males. As Homura passed the three of them, he ruffled Goku's hair a bit. This had resulted in a "Hey!" from Goku, but Homura didn't seem to hear or just ignored his brother's outcry. But just as Izumi thought that he was in the clear, the golden eyed man stopped and said words that made his blood freeze. "Oh, before I forget, Hakkai, I won't be eating dinner with the family tonight. I have someone- I mean something to take care of."

Izumi's knees buckled and he was practically paralyzed from the fear. "Alright, I'll leave your dinner in the fridge to reheat later." Hakkai called after Homura who had already turned round the corner and was no longer visible. It was this meeting with Homura that made Izumi decide to muster up all his courage, and to move as fast as possible to get to the room that 'Sanzo' was in and get this home visit done and over with as quickly as possible, so he could get out of this palace and back to his own, safe and sane home.

He has never felt such accomplishment or such happiness until he reached the door of Sanzo. He wanted nothing more than to just throw the door open, but he managed to knock only because he remembered where he was, in the house of the Son family. If ever Sanzo was anything like his younger brother, Homura then such actions will lead to death. It was only when a voice from the other side of the door said "Enter", did Izumi feel at a loss of what to do, or say. In all honestly, Izumi didn't know what to expect, and he had absolutely no idea of what awaited him beyond the door.

Well, in his defense, nobody would expect an Osprey to suddenly come out of the door that he had opened. But that was what happened to him, the Osprey flew to his face and flew around his head before a whistle got its' attention. The bird then immediately flew to Hakkai and landed on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that, Tanaka sensei. Hakuryuu can get very friendly even to people he's never met." Hakkai said as he began to pat the Osprey on the head.

The Osprey just preened its feathers before jumping, flying and landing on Goku's shoulder. His student immediately began to play with him. "Oi, what are you guys doing over there? Hurry up and come inside." A slightly irritated voice said. Izumi looked up to see a man with blond hair and violet eyes who was sitting behind an office desk with a giant stack of papers and a cigarette in one hand. The violet eyes looked at them for a couple of seconds before their owner gave an annoyed "Tch".

"Hakkai, get me and the sensei here some tea. Goku go with him." He ordered and both Hakkai and Goku complied wordlessly. That left Izumi alone with Sanzo. Izumi didn't know whether this was a good thing or not. But surely, there had to be at least one or two normal people from Goku's family. Sanzo didn't seem to have the same murderous aura of Homura, neither did he have any weapons on hand. So far, Sanzo seemed pretty normal, irritable, but normal. What could possibly go wrong?

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The screams of Izumi as he ran out of the house like a mad man could be heard by the entire neighborhood. Hakkai, who was fixing tea with Goku sent the boy to play with his siblings when he heard the screams. He then made his ways upstairs, a cup of hot tea on a small tray in his hands. When he got to Sanzo's room, the door was thrown open and Sanzo was doing paperwork without a care in the world.

Hakkai gently set the tea cup down the table. He then gave a soft sigh. "Really now Sanzo, this is the second time you've done this." He said, which made Sanzo look up from his paperwork. "What do you mean by that Hakkai?" Sanzo asked, as if he didn't know that he's probably scarred a person for life. "Poor, Tanaka-sensei. He was a nice man." Hakkai said before sighing again and turning around to leave the room.

"First of all, what happened to Goku's teacher last year was not entirely my fault. Gojyo and Homura are also to blame and look at the bright side; both he and Goku's current teacher might still recover one day. Do you remember what happened when it used to be the old man who met with the teachers for home visits?" Sanzo said, and Hakkai didn't say anything to that. Instead he walked out of the room and went downstairs to prepare dinner. That night dinner was a quiet affair for the normally raucous home, as if most of the members of the household knew what had happened earlier on, and they were in a state of mourning for the poor teacher.

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On Monday, Goku's class got a new homeroom teacher. Rumors of Tanaka-sensei quitting because of mental issues began to spread like a fire in a forest. Goku was quite oblivious as to why Tanaka-sensei had quit, but he wasn't really complaining either because their new homeroom adviser was Sena-sensei, she was the art teacher in charge of the second year, and also one of his favorite teachers. So, Goku was still a happy boy, and life goes on. All's well that ends well.

If only the state of the faculty was like that. In truth, the faculty was in complete pandemonium. But it was understandable as there was another teacher who had quit because of 'Son' related reasons. The principal, vice principal and the other teachers could only pray for Tanaka-sensei's speedy recovery and wished him luck with the rest of his life. But as for now, their main concern was Uryu-sensei, who is Nataku's current homeroom adviser. The man was scheduled to have Nataku's home visit next week.

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^_^ Thanks for reading guys! :) Please R&R! ^_^

Oh, do you think I should make a sequel of this?


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